This post was written after a diet that lasted from August 2020 Till 18th April 2021. During the whole process, while I'll admit that there were sacrifices that had to be made and feelings of being restricted, in general I managed to still be sociable, have a life, meet my friends for (occasional) nights of copious drinking and celebratory meals, be a husband, a dad, and work a pretty hectic day job that involved managing a lot of interesting creative personalities. I will admit, it's not as high stress as being a CEO or an entrepreneur (the latter of which I've had my own experiences with) but it has its challenges.
The before picture was taken on Jan 1 2021, which was the day I decided I wanted to try to document this process. The after picture was taken April 18th, 2021. Obviously, i'm not as shredded/muscular as some of the fitness types you see on social media, but this is progress that I'm personally very proud of.
April 18th was the day I decided it was time to stop cutting weight, actually focus on building more strength and eating more (proper) food and see where that takes me. I'm by no means going to win any bodybuilding awards, but I'm proud of what i've achieved.
Hell, I'm even proud of the loose skin that i'm carrying and the stretch marks that will never go away - proof of the battle scars of being a person who managed to get into this shape who obviously wasn't gifted with an athletic background or great genetics.
Some Key Points :
I was 37 going 38 when I started this process - most of the world will tell you this is right about when the right thing to do is to throw in the towel and accept that whatever shape you're in is pretty much the shape you're going to be the rest of your life
I don't remember when I got the courage to step on the scale to weigh myself, but I do remember that the first time I got on the scale i was 97kg. At the end of the cut, I was 74.5kg. I would wager that when I began to actively make this process happen, I was past the 100kg mark. Also, in my long history of obesity, i've been 110kg at the high end. this was when i was 16. (yes, 16)
To be fair, this isn't my first time round doing something like this. When i was 26, I did something similar, and got into relatively good shape. It was very short lived, however, for reasons I will go into in later posts. What I learned from the first time, I made sure to apply this time.
I'm a firm believer of HAES - but my version is Happy At Every Size. At the time of this writing, my beautiful daughter is 2 years old. And when she looks at old photos and current photos of me, all she sees is "Dada". That's priceless. I wouldn't trade that for a billion bucks or 8 pack abs.
My size didn't really strike me as something I needed to manage until I realized that every morning I was waking up in extreme pain all over and it got to the point where at night I had so much trouble breathing that I had to make bargains with God that I'd get it fixed if he let me wake up the next day. Suffice to say, when it got to that point, I definitely didn't have the H that would constitute Happy in my equation.
Whatever size you are, if when you are alone, and no one is watching, you know deep down that you're happy the way you are, then know that being in that state is a blessing and is something no one can take from you. If this is true for you, then social norms/media influence etc shouldn't even matter. No one can make you feel like an asshole, unless deep down you already feel you are one.
If you aren't happy with the way you are, then I'm concerned.
I'm concerned because the likelihood is that if you have an Internet connection and the disposable resources to be able to become overweight, compared to a large part of the world that lives in poverty, you struck the lottery. Which means no matter how much you feel your life sucks, someone has it much worse, and if the way you look and feel is the reason you don't get to have a deep sense of contentment and joy, that's something that can be changed.
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There's quite a few reasons people who are unhappy with their physical state don't do something about it
1)They've done the math, they know all the facts and the cost benefit ratio just doesn't work out for them. For this group of folks, I want to say I get it. There's really nothing I can help you with, cause there's really nothing that needs help. You've assessed the situation and made your decisions. Now please enjoy your life.
2)They think that making a change is going to involve a monumental change in their lifestyle, especially their social life. To this group I say sacrifices will have to be made, but there is a way to do this while still being able to live your life. In fact, I would argue that since so much of the value we attach to food involves the social interaction around eating, taking steps to be comfortable in your own skin actually will enhance your interaction with friends and family, because you'll be happy enough with how you feel to actually be PRESENT.
3)They've tried a whole bunch of diets / exercise regimes or combinations of the two and either didn't get results, or couldn't hold onto the results. It just seems too hard, so why bother. To this group, I will say that my experience has taught me that the way to really get this done is to work on it with the minimum effort that is required. The key words being minimum and required - everyone who is failing is either not addressing the first, or the second, or both. How you get to the end goal is really important, because how you keep what you've worked for is to be able to adapt the work you've done to be able to maintain your results in the long haul and the key is using the dieting down process to build habits that over time take about as much effort to maintain as tying your shoelaces. Difficult to learn at first, but once learned these habits take little effort to maintain (even though a LITTLE mindfulness is always required. I still bungle up tying my laces sometimes to this day)
4)They're under the false assumption that getting to where they want to requires a massive investment of time, which would compromise their work life, their family life, or some other important aspect of their life that can't take a hit. I'd like these people to know that the way around this is being brutally efficient (while not confusing beast mode with dumbass-mode), taking some time to educate ourselves on what is actually effective and integrating as much of this lifestyle into the current lives we need to live as possible. Once this is put in place, most people will find that maintaining the physical state that is desired is more about finding out how to AVOID things that will be detrimental, versus actively trying to do something to effect change. A busy schedule then actually becomes a boon to the person who's trying to be a fellow recovering fatass, because to a recovering fatass an idle mind in most cases is also a food focused mind.
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A few caveats - if you're currently a Fellow Fatass, and want to recover from being one, if you read through and pick up what i'm trying to say in this blog i'm confident that given enough time, you'll be able to get yourself into pretty good shape. Good enough that six months to a year into it, if this is the first time you've done something like this, you'll be amazed at what you've been able to accomplish. Your friends and family (many of whom will be naysayers when you're beginning) will start to notice and be amazed themselves.
You WILL NOT :
Become a competitive bodybuilder. This takes monumental effort and most bodybuilders pursue the sport to the detriment of their health and their family/social life. I'm not knocking them, I respect the dedication they put into what they do. I'm just saying that's not a price i'm willing to pay and I reckon most readers of this blog won't be either, so I'm not going to either promise myself, or you, those kinds of results.
Be an elite athlete. Please see above re : dedication. Add to that extreme amounts of time required to develop sports based skills, requirements of being born with certain genetics and predispositions and in most cases having to make it your career so that you can be PAID to be an athlete. Unless someone is willing to pay you to be, oh, I don't know, a competitive Crossfitter, part of the deal of aiming to be an elite athlete is that it won't be hard for you to lose weight simply because you're going to be too broke to eat cause no one is going to pay you to try.
I think you get my drift. You also may not end up getting to be a ninja, or to look like THOR, or you know. Whatever.
However, you CAN get into the best shape of YOUR life. And within the ranges of reason you CAN get into a physical state that will leave you truly happy, and the large part of the rest of the human population envious.
All while having time to attend to everything you need to, not missing out on being around the important people in your life, and even getting to eat any of the foods you like (some of the time).
The two keys can be summed up as :
Do not mistake busyness for effectiveness
Believe you can have anything you want, as long as you can be content with less than everything
If you've read this far, I guess you're pretty invested. The rest of the blog is where we get into the details. Let's begin.
From one Recovering Fatass to another, I look forward to seeing you at the end. But remember to have fun while you're getting there.